


Four Knocks

by OhMyGodBecky



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, F/M, olicity - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-13
Updated: 2014-12-13
Packaged: 2018-03-01 05:53:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2762081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OhMyGodBecky/pseuds/OhMyGodBecky
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A glimpse into Felicity's head immediately following episode 3x09.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Four Knocks

Felicity Smoak was not a religious person. She was Jewish, yes, but her path had always been guided by science. Her life filled with facts and technology that she could lay hands on to produce miracles of her own kind.

Tonight she needed more than the weight of her hands and brightly painted nails flying over keys could manufacture alone. She had never been one to look outside herself for strength. On this night, on this long and endlessly tormented night, she was asking a God she did not lay claim to for help.

If it had only been for herself she could have endured. She could have braved whatever cross the universe laid at her feet to pick up and carry. Crosses that did not ask of her to sit silent vigil as a man who had professed his love with goodbye in his eyes marched willingly to do battle for his life.

A trade, his beating heart for the love of a sister. His baby sister, who he could no more let fall than he could have done the act he had confessed to.

It had been a trap that brought them to this place. A land mine, really. Funny how a land mine had once brought his body to hers. Yet tonight, this land mine rigged for only one man was set to send him into the arms of oblivion.

So she sat. Legs pulled tightly to her chest with hands balled into fists around the fabric of his gray hoodie that still carried his scent. As if he were just in the other room. As if he were still within her reach.

She prayed by only the light of small menorah candles. A flickering fire holding a hope that she was too terrified to voice. A hope that he would return to her and they could create a life together. There was no room in tonight for selfish hope, the fire would have to keep it for her while she prayed for the life itself. 

Sentences would not surface through the pain and fear that ran riot in her mind. Leaving nothing but a name to serve as her plea. It seemed unbelievable that one word, three syllables, could be her world.

She marveled at the simplicity of it as the name turned prayer. She thought of the old gods, refusing to settle for the possible mercy of only one. This man deserved more than the attention of one god. She wanted to scream them all down from their perches.

Her eyes were squeezed tight in concentration when the first knock came to her door. With a straightened back she refused to acknowledge the intrusion.

The second knock brought a memory screaming up through the haze.

"Four knocks" she whispered with dread.

The prayer changing in an instant. She was busy begging when the third knock landed on her door. Tears ran rivers down her face and breath became something she could spare as his name spilled out of her mouth on a choked whimper.

"Oliver"

On the fourth and final knock the flickering flame of hope lost it's war for survival. The fourth and final knock was her world's undoing.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading, this is only my second fic ever so I would love your feedback, I beg of you to be gentle.


End file.
